Independant Relationships

So, yeah I have been fighting against the same negative feelings towards WG many years back - the time when distance exist with between him and Mom and Dad. Since about 3 years ago, I overcame it and try to maintain positiveness by focusing on treating relationships independant of another. Before that, I just couldn't understand and didn't have a solution to what's happening, and could not accept the fact why WG was not with us to go through hardship after which Mom and Dad had to sell their home facing financial crisis. I also could not understand why I was surprising loaded with financial commitment on a single bungalow house which is so far away from PJ because I rather get one in PJ or KL so we can all live under the same roof inc. my Granny. Even that, I was asked to chose between Granny or Mom and Dad, gosh. Finally, after being all by myself in Hong Kong, for some reasons, I see the light and started to forgive and forget .. even forgive myself for whatever that has gone wrong. From then on, the same way I maintain positiveness (and fight the negativeness) with Mom and Dad despite the way they have abandoned Granny since .. I also use the same concept to maintain positiveness (and fight the negativeness) with WG and family despite the fact that I think WG should visit Mom and Dad more, call them sometimes, take them out lunch or dinner, ask them about their health, give them some money ... But I need to adopt a new way of looking at things so I can see them in a different light, and so that I can establish and nurture a fresh and growing relationship with WG and family just the way I am doing with my parents.... I really want to try my best to stick to this way of thinking so that I don't built up resentment, anger and sadness within myself and then having to isolate myself from family .. just because I think they should try to treat other family members better. I am sure they all have their merits in the things that they have done or are doing but caring for Mom and Dad i.e. parents, seems very important to me, and therefore if I don't deal with my emotions correctly, I know it will take me to rocky roads. Ideally of course, we should all treat each other well, and its fairly easy, I see it alot with other family members and even hubby's family, but I guess, if we don't have the ideals, we should try to make a second best ideal and stay away from disasterous relationships .... still, sometimes its not so easy to fight the feeling because its only natural in human beings that we only want to be nice if they had been nice to us or our family, or we choose not to be nice to them because they haven't been nice to us or our family .. I do want to go beyond that .. so I'll keep trying ... 1. Treat my parents well irregardless, 2. Treat my bro, his family & Granny well irregardless .. Then, I also need to make sure treat my relatives and friends well irregardless, when I can do all these well, I also want to make sure I treat all other human beings well irregardless.. gosh, ambitious, but at least a plan to work on rather than taking things for granted and never improve!