Karma Can End

The thing about karma is that there's a start and an end (don't forget the ending part, its important to appreciate the significance of it!)... Don't worry too much if bad things are happening and you end up wondering 'why me? why this? why, why why ...' no need to spend too much time on why, just remember, if this is not 100% accurate it is almost 90% accurate .. We Are Responsible For Our Own Actions .. though understanding karma is more than just the law of cause and effect (which I don't claim I know a whole lot of it) but it has help me tremendously in my life .. and I can see a better me, and heading towards the brighter side of things. Ever wonder why sometimes you cannot be that nice, goody person whom you want your friends to see you as? Or end up always saying nasty things to the people you love, esp the closest ones, the ones whom would almost always accomodate your fussiness? Well, its convenient to blame them for making you say or do nasty things.. even blaming our own friends (without us realizing it) but its really not them, its just us, our own self .. once our 'bad karma' ends, you will realize you then have the opportunity to be that nice person, to be that person who would not say nasty things, and not face so much of those barriers 'to be a nice person'... we really cannot force this through.. no matter how sincere you may be at that time, sincerely isn't enough, Why not? Isn't sincerety good enough, as long as we have good intentions? Yes, good intentions are good for new actions which will affect the future 'u' but for whatever you are suffering now and wanting to pick up the pace and be that 'nice person', we need more than just sincerity, we need good MERITS to be able to cont doing good. And so the saying the rich becomes richer? The poor becomes poorer? It's the same, the good become better, the bad become worst .. we just have to break that cycle..... so, do more good now to have the credibility and merit to enjoy a happier and peaceful, less miserable life.. (forget about the past you have done - whether you realize it or not, and embrace the suffering you are going through now, smile about it sometimes, tell youself, its OK, let me focus on my present acts and future consequences...) I used to observe and wonder many year ago, I almost always end up saying hurtful things to the one man I love, and I do, I do, I do love him and am very sincere about my love and our relationship, and yet, almost always cannot be that nice one .. I could see but I could not avoid making more and more painful mistakes .. saying negative things which I wish I wouldn't say.. its almost like, 'lost control'.. I was just marking more and more negative karma ..I remember wondering, hey, why you keep making me say those things? Obviously, it was me, not him! But I realized now in the recent years ever since I met LG, that cycle of continuous creation of negative karma had just completely dissapeared.. well of course I still make mistakes, occasionally say some not-so-nice things (but very rare no more and so very easy to control), and its all so natural now.. its just amazing and feels good to be out of the vicious cycle (perhaps go into another cycle, ha -- that's besides the point) .. now, I feel so much at peace with myself and others around me, and I can see, filled with alot of nice people around me too.. I am not so easily affected by some nasty things other people say or do (not because I am immune to it, I still tune in to it) but I embrace the talks.. accept it as a gift, a positive things, a blessing in disguise.. I feel, life is pretty simple these days.. even matters including working to feed the family and my parents.. though we're not rich, yet I don't feel miserable about it, infact I constantly feel very blessed with whatever that's happening around me ... Eventhough, for some very critical people, it may seem I am not living a lovey-dovey life but for some reasons, I feel I am so freed from so much of those internal suffering and emotional nets, and thus happier. Back then, people will always tell me how lucky I am to have KW (which of course I believe so too) and he is just super magnificant, excellant guy and bf, but silently I was going through alot of internal suffering (as in my own life, the way I see things..) .. friends, family etc not knowing how to resolve and come to peace with people and things around me. KW had always been there for me too, despite all that, he cannot free me from my suffering.. his fault? Noh, can he? Noh, its me, just me.. Here I am today, on and off just feeling how lucky I have been - I feel alot of happiness around me ..though from the outside, people may judge how tough life is for me and how good life is for others where they have their other half take care of financials, give them shopping money, no need to work, have a maid etc .. Certainly, I acknowledge thats easier life, better life and good life but I choose not to see a happy life as defined by just those factors, and choose to view internal happiness as the seed of all other happiness around one's life.. hope to build this value in me more and I know, practice will make things happen ..

Keliru, Aku Cinta Padamu

Simply love this song soooo very much, thanks LE cuz! ~ By Ruth Sahanaya

Di lubuk hatiku tersimpan, ada rasa bimbang, Yang enggan ku ceritakan, ternyata baru ku sadari, Sirnanya hatimu, yang engkau simpan untukku, Aku cinta kepadamu, aku rindu di pelukmu, Namun ku keliru.. telah membunuh, Cinta dia dan dirimu...ohhhh....

Oh... Tuhan.. Maafkan diriku, Telah melangkah lubuk.. Memberi bimbang di hatinya, Kutahu .. Engkau telah berdua, Tak mungkin kurasa.. Melepas kasih antara kita, Aku cinta kepadamu, aku rindu di hatimu (di pelukmu), Namun ku keliru, telah membunuh, cinta dia dan dirimu

Aku cinta kepadamu, aku rindu di pelukmu, Ingin ku akhiri...Yang telah terjadi, Lamunan membawamu kembali, engkaupun keliru, Menilai erti cinta kita... Yang kau kira selamanya

Complement 365++

Heard on TV today, message fr. Joel Osteen, I simply love him! He was talking about being a People Builder.. to encourage, inspire and bring the best out of the people around us (people whom God have placed around us) .. find someone to complement each day, don't just think about it - but express it .. In today's society, so many of us, so frequently always finding faults in others and we spend the time to do so, but how about complementing the other person? If we continue to bring the best in others, God will surely bring out the best in us and ensure we have a place with him...

Gwen Stephanie - Cool

I am just so crazy about this song 'Cool' here's some of the lyrics..

"Now I found the love of my life..Passes things, get more comfortable. ......and after all the obstaclesIt's good to see you now with someone else. . . ... .after all that we've been throughI know we're cool. . . .we used to think it was impossible.. Now you call me by my new last name. . . . .Time always kills the pain... Remember Harbor Boulevard. . . . .look how all the kids have grown, oh.. We have changed but we're still the same. . . . I..know we're cool..I know we're cool. . . . and I'll be happy for you...If you can be happy for me. . . . and now we're hanging out with your new girlfriend... So far from where we've been. . . . ....I know we're coolC-cool, I know we're cool.."

The Gown

So, what's new? This week I am thinking of looking out for a wedding gown. Hehe.. OK, taking so long huh? Well, I feel that I am ready for it now (3 years now) so I am considering it provided it's not so so costly! SV said he needed some for his portfolio too so maybe just get this over and done with!? So we have a volunteer photographer who's got realy sophisticated cameras, and ANA flower girl! I like the beach concept.. Anyway, back to the dress, they say rental fr. Watabe is about between $750-1600 .. there are some options at the local store, maybe $450 up. Will see how it goes! So I was telling LG about this and he said OK (wonder if he'll get involve in the photo session hehe). I said 'Wow, this is serious matter, more important than signing the papers! Big step! It means, we are getting real -taking this relationship very seriously wor .. Gota think carefully first' :P In a way, just kidding but in some ways yes, it does symbolize some milestone here!

Pride & Prejudice

I couldn't make it for mini-church on Friday, really cannot tahan, went home and lay down, my system shutting down. I guess the late night at office night before kinda screw up my schedule since all other chores remain unchanged and to be done! Anyway, I made it a point to get enough sleep Sat night so I could go for the Sunday service @ Hilton. There's always a nursery with very nice, friendly and helpful volunteers... Today's topic: Pride & Prejudice by Pastor Rob Spiegel.

3 Guidelines For Great Relationships:
1. Follow the example of Christ .. about being humble towards others ..
2. Follow the Royal Law (James 2:8 NIV) If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself, you're doing right..
3. Follow the Law of Liberty ... about living a graceful life, about faith and love..

How to Have a Loving Church:
1. Accept Everyone (Rom.14:7) - Accept one another just as Christ accepted you...
2. (Phil.2:3) - Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves..
3. Affirm Everyone (Thess. 5:11) - Encourage one another and build each other up...

Mini-Church Gathering

JL asked to go mini-church this Friday, 7.30pm - she said they are going to start bibble session, will be starting with the topic of 'How to be a Practical Christian' - and will look into the Book of James - sounds interesting! I'd love to find out more! Asked LG if he can bb-sit ANA for 2 hrs, he said OK! Actually, he probably should be the one going, and I know if I don't go he won't go, but if I go, we would have to bring ANA, and when we do, she won't let us have a peaceful discussion amoung the group .. so OK, let's try this out first and then Sunday send them to Hilton where they have extra hands to bb-sit :)

Be a Pharmacist?

Okay, okay, okay ... too much thinking, wanting to do alot of things? Anyway, just food for thoughts! Of course, will slap back to reality, skin off some unrealistic dreams and pursue my passion in life .. but life is inter-related in many ways though! So, anyway, what's charging forward in terms of career in the next few years? As of next year, I have to start all over again. No more continuing this so-called FF&E Procurement thing I am currently working for. Initially, plan to stay at least for around 5 years or so, to be good at it but I guess, moving is my priority now. Re-boot loh.. Been pretty focus since March 2005. In the next 2 years, focus on paying off some home loans, anything else along the way is secondary. But indeed of course, nothing will be more important that good health and safety for my little family.. :) Still focused on retiring @ 35 (retire doesn't mean have $$ okay?, but have enough income going (without having to go to a 9-5 job thing) to cover basic expenses: shelter, food, clothings, transport.. ... maybe I can go to school after that, how about a Degree in Science (Pharmacy) .. too old for it? Maybe not right? Anyway, want to write this down so I can look back how much more exciting-thoughts I have to follow-up in years to come :P But I know, I am just making this retire @ 35 thing seems easier.. eliminating a few more important expenses in life such as those for ANA: her education and such, oh well! One step at a time :)

Lay's Potato Chips Classic

Today's payday and I bought myself $3.79 Lay's Potato Chips! Okay, no biggie (but expensive still!), but I try not to indulge myself with the unnecessary! Practice, practice, practice, soon it becomes a habit :)

Mercy Ship

I am still getting newsletter fr. Mercy Ship and you know what? I will volunteer, but, there's a but ... (I know, there should be a but) but I really have to find a way to make sure Analina is taken care of first .. My target? When I move to the States next year, I will start to get involve actively. If I cannot make myself present on-board, I will give money to help other volunteers get the job done. I first read about Mercy Ship many years ago, just a short article on Readers Digest. Now, in the States, I am in touch with Anastasia again, I feel very much connected .. perhaps yeah there are many ways to help many others, why this way? It really doesnt matter as long as we have the good intentions, and next followed by some actions. Help ourselves first? Yeah, let's just do it concurrently. As long as I am not drowning, I can still lend a helping hand, only abit less for ourselves, its OK. I am going to start this journey on behalf of ANA .. and we will sail together ... So, let me go add this item to my 1st ever budget planning spreadsheet .. so I can execute this!

Karaoke ...

Hardly ever, and the last time, technically its been the longest time!!! My only kaki-maybe STEP .. Since last weekend we went to Leo Palace, got super nice karaoke lounge, not too many people, no one smoking, its refreshing!!! Now, LG setup his hi-tech karaoke set at home, I didn't know we have that sitting there next to the TV all along!! So many CDs sumore ... hehe Someone once told me, 'If you're still singing, you're alive .. when you stop, that's when you're dead alive' .. something like that!

Happy Birthday: Dasson T.

Lunch buffet at Guam Plaza Hotel, what a nice and cozy restaurant they have up at the G-Flr, never knew! Am pretty happy today, esp. LG help out in watching ANA so I can shoot as many photos as possible for DAS (who just turned 6) & JST/KN because I know how busy it would be for their little family (just like ours) during the party and hardly get any decent nice family photo together during the event. I snap, and snap, and snap all the way. Last year I made a CD for DAS too, but too much action around, I didn't get to photograph for them a family photo. On top of that, had to be very attentive to ANA so she stay out of danger, and that time she's running lintang-pukang! Anyway, it feels really good to be able to do something for others ..