The Emotional Me

Sad, sad, sad, but life goes on. Have to recover fast and move on with daily life making it abit more meaningful than feeling sad. I think I did alright, and a significant improvement compared to the old me. Landed with 2 emotional attack yest; one from MM&DD, another fr. LG, but guess what? I could sleep easily and wake up this morning; do the usual for ANA and have my own breakfast. Way to go I'd say! Anyways, MM and DD - KB issue, and also I have to tell them I can't afford to give more (money for LING to take care of GNNY's) as it is arleady giving them about RM$1400 each mth - so I feel very dissapointed with myself and definitely not willing to tell them this bad news, except I have to, otherwise I will drain myself out since my little family needs my financial support too, I have to balance out, share the pie with everyone, not just keep letting others take, take and take.. after all if one takes from me, it would be at the expense of another family member of mine.. so you know, it goes around? I have to balance it out make sure everybody gets something. But I guess, I feel very dissapointed with myself because this is the one thing I dont' want to end up saying to my parents - that 'I cannot afford to give you more' but yest, I had to say these words :( .... .. About KB, well yeah, they are not very willing to go and can see/tell/and I asked and found out, they are not trying their very best, if possible they don't want to go .. for whatever reason they may have. So, bottom line, I cannot force though I am damn sad about it .. so still cannot control, cry my heart out. But recovery was speedy for sure.. Then, finale part, LG hit me with another of his silly concept about 'no expectations, no rules' lifestyle.. oh well, I just keep my options open, explore the unexplored .. perhaps given some time, I can see the true beauty of the 'no expectations, no rules' life.. which may turn out to be more fullfilling? Patience... But in anycase, I think ultimately is to come to a balance.. so I'll explore the balance part of 'no expectations, no rules' life, because I don't believe in the extremes...