Motherly Love

SPH called and we talked for quite some time. I feel so lucky to have SPH talk about my challenges and her offering to help me in whatever way she could. She said when she's got the time she would make soup for me and JL ... it's been such a long time someone made soup for me :( She is so sincere, kind and caring with all the good intentions. I am very thankful for all that I am receiving and same time I offer to learn how to make the soup too so I can make for them .. I just realized I have neglected myself so much due to the so many reasons that I have in hands.. I remember trying to cont making soup when I get here but first it was that KC doesn't drink much of it, and we end up with a big pot and then I would have to cook different kinds of dishes for KC and even ANA (as requested by KC!) and then I have to cut down on my own list. After that, it was a series of no-more buying-bringing back from home since the last time was CNY and I spent all on air-fare and all associated travelling cost. It's just amazing how I would have forgotten about taking care of myself!

On the other hand, although this should not be the way I should think, but somehow I can't help but to think why MM doesn't really ask about me etc and I noticed ever since I moved here and decided to have my little own family, I feel I am so very much by myself. It's like ---- the traditional way of thinking, you are a girl and off you go! I also know she wouldn't spend any extra money on buying me herbs and such unless I requested it but I would reimburse her back anyway, and I told myself, she must have had a valid reason and truly I know she's saving every penny for survival and rainy days. I know if I asked her, she would be taken by surprise and felt it wasn't her obligation to take care of me in that sense, or she didn't have to in that sense.. or if she wanted to, she would have la la la .... Don't feel too good about it though but not sure if I should revisit this area .. and considering I am stressing myself all out esp. at hard times like this, and big part of it is to remit to MM and DD ... I wonder if I am living life the right way.