Secret Untold

Today, tonight .. its almost as though I've learned a secret - so much so untold for so many years, and its now whispering in my ears ... As JL and I talked about life and marriage and God, it came to me that, I now why KW and I never got married .. because He knew I was not ready to be that helper, that good Help-Meet. If I realized how wrong I was, and I realized that I need to make a change and then go make that change, I think there's no doubt He will send me to KW - to be his other half. People have always asked me why we never got married, and I ponder about it too, never had any answers, even KW himself we looked at each other just attributing it to reasons like 'similar age-not ready, career, not ready financially or mentally - whatever legitimate reasons we may have' ... but that's really not it. We were so good together, doing things together, enjoyed each other's company so much .. and yet its not meant to be. And I settled for that explanation though - 'not meant to be' .. but what does that mean really? I don't know. You just have to give yourself some sort of concluding answers somehow and I accepted that, but deep down, I know its not a good answer. I know now that God is gracious, that He will give us our desires of the heart much more than we even desire it, if only we listen, obey and learn to be that good WOMEN He originally design us as, and actually go out and be that good Help-Meet. Often than not, we would think -- "as long as I dont physically harm others, as long as I do my own things and not interfere with others, as long as I do my own things well etc etc my conscience is clear and therefore I am a good person" -- and I was brought up to know that we should live life that way too, but what I discover now is, that's not good enough. We have to truly repent, see (sometimes we really can't see, so pray for Him to open up your eyes) and admit our mistakes, seek God, know His plan for us, listen, obey and do His will - which includes honoring and obeying your husband.