Extremes

Another phone call came when we're having breakfast, DD picked up and he spoked with LING. Sounded very emotional from his side, more like angry kind.. I figured to myself, this aint gonna work, how can we ever get things done with anger and resentment, everyone is tai-chi-ing. I let it be anyway because there's nothing I can do right now but I can call WG later so we can discuss and figure out how to help GRN. I took the opp to tell MM also, that remind DD to talk nicely in situations like this. She reacted very emotionally (again) and did not react to my statement, but infact stressed again 'dont make this my issue'..... As dissapointed as I am with this sort of outlook in life, and as much as I can see where she is coming from, I try to put those negative feelings aside and focus on a solution for the problem. Very enlightening thoughts from time to time today, I stole some time to think about this.. anyway will have to call WG tonight to see how we can help .. for I can see, MM and DD is not really going to truly put their hearts into this - I sense alot of defencing feelings from their side, and thus, they do not seem to demonstrate compassion from within at this point.. pitiness yes, but not compassion because what constitutes compassion is true action and effort to help the other person. DD took the opp in the morning too to tell me things, sometimes a little against me, I wasn't really sure what he was really trying to tell me about me and my married life, but I concluded it was something for my own good. That I needed to hold on to something should all fails. I do appreciate him telling me. Same time I dont want to deviate from the real problem now, that is the sudfering of his own mother. Later, I found another opp to tell him, for sure I will remember to do my part, treat MM and DD well, but hey Dad, I want you to try your best to take care of GRN too. Unfortunately, he reacted very quickly too, saying he had done his part, whatabout LING, he should now. Honestly.., somewhere from within my heart, I sort of knew, that's not my DD. The DD I knew.. he won't draw lines, he is too modest, too honest, too humble, too silly, too naive, he would just want to help. I dont know how to put it, but whatever it is, the circumstances over the last few years I believe had forced him through a brain wash stage, how should I say it? Mind poisoning? It happens all the time, everywhere.. And I dont even blame the other person who is poisoning except I feel sorry for him/her. I hope he can recover to be his true self because by the looks of this trend.. the way he is going, only shows that history repeats itself, and he is creating more and more negative karma. I wish he can be enlightened... and that he knows, we dont need to distinguish 'who needs to do what', but instead, 'we need to do this and that'. I took the opp to explain to him, if I had that sort of mentality now, I wouldnt be the one helping them out financially all by myself all this time. Few years back, I plunged into that sort of monster drama, I wasn't happy, and thus I fled to a seemingly far a way land, live and make decisions in life on my own, isolate and coudln't understand 'why me', 'why now'. But shortly, I was truly blessed to have been freed from this monster drama, I could see that we are all truly just human, truly just same, that we all should be brothers and sisters.. It shouldn't really be that because of others, then we do not help our brothers and sisters..(let alone mother and father). With that in mind, irregardless of the fact if I am taking all this financial burden myself, I do it with a happy heart, a graceful heart and I truly see that, to have the opportunity to do good to my parents, to repay my parents (no matter how tough it is), is truly a blessing for me because I then have the opportunity to do good. And so I see so clearly now, eventhough my DD wants to do good, for whatever ABC reasons he has, he could not do it, and worst of all, he is making some serious mistakes and repeating history, and so he shall have to face the negative consequences only a matter of time. I pray he can get out of this and soon take actions to do good while he has the chance.. and even MM, more and more history will repeat, I too pray she can see that we are all brothers and sisters and to be able to do things moderately rather than the extremes and then landing into times like this - torn between self-centeredness and kindness in the heart.